The truth is, younger men and women are very different. Generally, men are selfish and greedy in bed and women are too eager to please.

But recently I’ve had an awakening. It’s time to take back control and make my sex life great.

And the only way I can do this is by being as selfish as men are in bed. It has to be about MY ­enjoyment as much as his. And it doesn’t matter who finishes first — we both need to cross that line.

I have to admit though, this realisation has not been an easy ride.

“Let’s go again,” whispered one guy I was dating, after our seventh session in two hours. “I’m going to make you scream even harder.”

He did. But they were actually cries of pain, not pleasure.

Thanks to online porn, men expect women to be plucked like a Christmas ­turkey and ready for a good stuffing.

“Don’t be frigid,” another guy moaned, when I turned down his request to recreate an uncomfortable position he’d clearly seen on a porn site.

“My ex would,” he added, rolling off.  Terrified he would go off to find a girl who would do it in the headstand ­position, I stupidly agreed.

The next day I had whiplash and a migraine. Isn’t sex meant to be enjoyable? Firstly, don’t expect any answers from the sisterhood.

“We had sex five times in one night,” a friend told me excitedly over a coffee. “I had the best orgasm ever.”

“Me and Jase have the most incredible sex,” chimed in another, “It’s just mind-blowing.”

In reality, we were all suffering in silence. Riddled with insecurities, body hang-ups and wanting to fit in, none of us had the courage to admit it.

Are my boobs big enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I sexy?

These are just some of the fears that plagued me throughout my 20s.  Now, I look back and want to hug the girl who nodded like Churchill the dog every time a guy suggested a new sex position to try.

Like most women as they get older, I got tired of having to ­pretend to be an acrobat on speed in bed.

My Hollywood performances wilted into scenes that would ­struggle to make it into Hollyoaks.

The truth is, I was tired of being there for someone else’s pleasure.  But after a conveyor belt of bad sex I had no idea what I wanted in the bedroom — or how to find out.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever had a real orgasm,” I confessed to my aunty, at the age of 27, after a few glasses of wine. “Is that normal?”

She paused. “Sweetheart, I was just the same at your age. I was so consumed by wanting to please the guy that I didn’t even consider what I wanted.

“It wasn’t until I reached my mid-30s that I truly understood what I wanted. It’s an age thing. First of all, you need to stop waiting for them to tell you what they want,” she continued, firmly.

“Get in there first and be ­responsible for your happiness.”

It may sound simple enough, but putting it into practice was another matter.  Firstly, in my mission for great sex, I had to take responsibility for my own actions.

How can a guy learn how to improve in bed if you’re faking orgasms? The truth is, they won’t.

Once I realised that, I made a vow to always be true to myself — and honest with my partner.

Communication is key to a healthy relationship, be it a casual fling or something more long-term.

Learning to say no to things you don’t like and yes to things you do is more important than anything.

But in order to know what you want — in and out of the ­bedroom — you have to get to know yourself first.

The only way is to explore your body and understand what makes you tick. For me, that meant sneaking on to my boyfriend’s porn account and seeing what things turned me on — rather than watching it with him and following his lead.

I also devoured every sex book on the market and tried out things that excited me.

Now I have sex on my terms and I don’t take it so seriously.

I’ve learnt to relax and laugh at things we try if the position is a logistical nightmare.